I’m home alone for the week since Jonnathan is being a sweetie and helping his Mom with her yard remodel..the house is quiet…a nice summer breeze is cooling off the house and the dogs are sleeping at my feet.  Wow, it’s the first real silence I’ve had in a long time.  Even when it’s quiet when Jonnathan is home, it’s different when you are actually alone by yourself, you know what I mean?  I miss him terribly, but am finding this quiet time to be something that I really needed. It’s allowing me to reflect on what this time is all about, how much I adore Jonnathan, and how truly blessed and happy I am. Life has been more than hectic lately.  I started a brand new job, Jonnathan graduated from college, had my bridal shower, did our engagement photos and are wrapping up the final plans for our wedding. To say a world wind, doesn’t even touch on how busy it has been.  So, this quiet day has truly been a gift.  You’ll laugh when you hear that  I think getting up early, driving to a couple of different stores, clothes shopping, picking up dog food, watering all the plants and cleaning the windows and kitchen is a quiet day for me, but it really has been.

It’s nice to slow down tonight and just be still.  As a Type A Personality Bride I get easily caught up in alllllll the many details, the to-do lists, the plan A, plan B, the what if’s, the worries…all of it.  It’s a catch 22, on one hand it’s a awesome to be planning an event and be a person who thinks of the details, however on the other it can be very overwhelming if it’s your own wedding you’re planning.  I’m thinking of all the hours spent focused on the details wondering if the day will be what I hope it to be.  Is it normal for me to wonder if I’m going to be let down?  Is it normal if I want it all to slow down even though it hasn’t even begun? I hope I can take it all in. I hope that the entire day I will be focused on what it’s all about – Jonnathan.  All those hours spent planning our wedding, yes was partially because of the little girl in me loving the dreamy wedding, but mostly because I wanted to do all I could to create a day that best represented Jonnathan and my relationship and our love.  As a man who often doesn’t want the focus on himself, I want him to feel more love and more joy than he has ever felt in his entire life. I want to put the biggest smile on his face and the most joy in his heart.  That is my number one goal for our wedding.  If I can do that, then that’s all that really matters in the end.

Since things have been so crazy busy lately I found myself getting to a point where I was just so emotional.  I didn’t know what was going on and went to Jonnathan and told him I needed a hug and that I just felt sad.  I didn’t know why or what had caused it, but I just did.  He of course wrapped his arms around me with all the love in the world and brought me immediate comfort.  He too was feeling a little sad and we realized that part of the problem was that while we are both running around with our crazy schedules, that we were missing one another. Stopping and realizing that we had lost focus of making sure that we were connecting and getting the time we needed with one another – thank God we realized this now!  So, we have made a pact that come wedding week and wedding day that we will make sure we get the time we need with one another.  I have written into the schedule just the two of us on our wedding day in the morning alone and away from all the hustle and bustle to enjoy morning coffee and one another. I think it’s important to do what you can to slow things down and focus on what really matters.

Did any of you brides go through a roller coaster of emotions leading up to your wedding?  How did you deal with that?

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